Why do we wait until the bathroom is underwater to choose a plumber?
The smell of damp wool is unmistakable, a heavy, sheep-like musk that only emerges when you sacrifice the “good” beach towels to a rising tide of greywater. It’s the smell of a Sunday evening going sideways. In Hampton Park, the air is usually still at , but inside Kirra’s hallway, there is the rhythmic, sickening slap-slap-slap of water escaping the bathroom threshold and meeting the floorboards. She has already used the striped Billabong towels. Now she’s onto the souvenir one from Gold Coast .
She is sitting on the floor because her legs felt a bit like jelly three minutes ago. Her phone, currently vibrating with a low-battery warning at 14 per cent, is the only tool she has left. This is the moment nobody ever practises. We prepare for fire drills at work, we know where the spare tire jack is hidden in the boot, and we might even have a first-aid kit with unexpired Band-Aids.
Kirra is flicking through search results. Every website looks the same in the harsh, blue glare of a dying screen. They all have the same stock photos of smiling men in pristine overalls. They all claim to be “Number One.” They all scream 24/7

